Myth #3 Marriage Means We'll Work It Out Together

No you won’t. Not always. Some days you’ll work it out together. Like when you’re well rested and just ate a good meal and the weather is perfect and you have the day off and time is but a number. But other days you can't.

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Myth #2 Marriage Means I Will Have Security

Welcome to our series Marriage Nobody Tells You Anything. Sign up here to get next week's newsletter.

Before we can discover what marriage is, we need to air our dirty laundry and come clean. Hence, this series of myths exploring some old beliefs about marriage. Maybe you’ve never had a relationship last for more than nine months. Maybe your parents divorced and you didn’t have any role models. Maybe you’ve just read some garbage about what it's supposed to be like and unbeknownst to you, you’ve set yourself up to fall on your face. But don’t fret. We’ll do it together. Let’s purge the pantry and clean house. Oh, and this is by no means exhaustive. Please feel free to add your own at the end. It’s fun. It’s liberating. It’s part of what will set you free to marry on your own damn terms.

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Myth #1 Marriage Is Forever

Last week, I started the first article of a series called Marriage: Nobody Tells You Anything. For myself, marriage has become a central lens to life and I’m still amazed at how little I knew going in. This series of newsletters will explore the strange beliefs, surprising truths, and embarrassing strokes in marriage and love from my own experience and yours. I asked for your input. I wanted to know what it was like for you. And letters came in… 

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Marriage: Nobody Tells You Anything

I'm excited to share that for the next few weeks, I’ll be devoting a series of articles on the theme of marriage, love, and relationship. What makes us commit? How can we be in a long-term relationship? Is there a secret to love?

It’s been just over two years since we exchanged our vows in front of loved ones outside on a Sunday afternoon in Marin County. Marriage, as I’ve learned, is a place of never-ending discovery of self, of other, and of union. It’s also a charnel ground—a place of daily death and rebirth. And that’s if you’re lucky. There’s something essential to relationship as a vehicle for transformation. Some couples are inspired by change; others may see change as conflict. But make no mistake...deep relationships offer an opportunity to awaken innate wisdom. In our most celebrated bonds, if we’re really present, change occurs. This is a very good thing.

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Are You Hiding?

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” ~ Ramana Maharshi

Whatever.
It doesn’t matter.
I don’t really care.
Sure. I guess so.
You pick.
That’s fine.

We’ve all been passive at some point. What appears as easy-go-lucky can often be a cover to divert attention or connection with the person you’re engaging. It shows up in small ways (what do you want for dinner?) and can grow in big ways (what do you want in life?) without every recognizing the underlying issue.

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